Why we idolize athletes and other famous people

Ever wondered why we tend to idolize famous people?  Well, here's a fascinating article that describes the psychological mechanism of projection:  

https://scottjeffrey.com/psychological-projection/

In a nutshell, we project onto other people both positive and negative characteristics or ourselves that we're afraid to own.

For instance, let's say you're a huge fan of famous tennis player Rick Matheson (a fictional name).  Let's say you think that he shows incredible ability and poise on the tennis court.  You also think he displays a lot of mental toughness, and find him very gracious and classy in interviews.  Basically, you think he walks on water.

Why do you hold him in such high esteem?  Probably because he symbolizes many things about yourself that you're afraid to own or get in touch with.  In him, you're seeing a lot of qualities that are latent within yourself, but which you don't—or don't want to—recognize.

Anyway, this article also discusses how we can reintegrate with those lost parts of ourselves that we're projecting onto others.  It's one of the most helpful articles I've ever read.  In fact, I don't think I'll ever look at famous people the same way again.  

Some key excerpts:

Starting in early childhood, we begin psychically cutting off parts of ourselves.

We separate from our best parts of ourselves like courage, generosity, and compassion.

And we disidentify with our worst parts like envy, pettiness, and rage. . . .

We project our greatest potentials and possibilities onto other people.

This person then becomes larger than life to us.

Our culture is ripe with this kind of psychological projection. We call it “hero worship” and it happens in every field, relationship, family, school, and office.

Let’s say you’re an aspiring public speaker. You follow the work of your favorite speaker carefully.

Sometimes you idolize him, hanging on his every word. You admire his effortless calm and confidence on stage.

Here too, you are projecting. You have disowned your confident part and have identified with a more anxious, fearful part of yourself.  If not, you wouldn’t be in awe of him.

Instead, you would notice this speaker’s own insecurity behind his confident facade.

That is, you would see him not a hero, but as a fellow human being. . . .

And we are all projecting onto others most of the time.

Many people do this with celebrities. To them, people like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are like royalty. Others project onto musical artists or star athletes.

I used to think the opposite - we idolize the people who have the qualities that we lack but would like to have. But maybe there's a bit of truth in both theories.

Well, here's the thing—we may think we lack certain qualities, but those may actually lie latent or undeveloped inside us.

I think the key is here is admiration vs. idolization.  Just admiring something doesn't necessarily indicate projection.  But when you're totally awestruck or emotional about it, my guess is that projection is likely.

Similarly, if you absolutely hate someone and can't possibly see anything good about them, you're probably projecting some of your negative qualities onto them.  

Anyway, I'm still learning.  I do know, though, from past experience that I've projected some qualities that I didn't know I had onto others.  It was only later that I discovered, "Oh, cool—I really do have those qualities!"  

Of course, idolizing a tennis star doesn't necessarily mean that you could go out on a tennis court and produce world-class tennis.  (On the other hand, if you'd started playing a sport when you were 3 years old, maybe you would be world-class.)  But it does imply that perhaps there's a super-competent part of you that you haven't yet gotten in touch with.  And once you do so, you may no longer feel a desire to idolize anyone else.  

Also, I used to think that:

1) Pop singers just have superior vocal skills.
2) You have to be brilliant to write songs.

Well, not all pop singers have great voices.  Apparently just about anyone can acquire a good singing voice with enough effort.  If you take vocal lessons and stick with them for about 5 years and practice regularly, you could probably develop a fine singing voice too.

Of course, it probably does take a good bit of talent to write good songs.  But you don't have to be brilliant to write basic songs.  And the more you learn and practice, the more you'll probably improve.  Now, it definitely helps to have a decent music background. Anyway, singer Aimee Mann says that when she first started writing songs, they "were all terrible. But you do it enough, and you get better at it."  

It's definitely a fascinating topic.

I found this interesting quote from a research paper:

Both types of projection [positive and negative] increase under threat to self-esteem, such as negative feedback or a poor performance.

By contrast, when a person has affirmed the self or has received positive feedback, social projection and defensive social projection are muted.

This nugget of research above pretty much confirms the projection theory.  

Here's an example:  Let's say you're a student.  And you recently took an important test.  Let's say that you just found out that you aced it.  An hour later, you're driving down the road, and then someone cuts you off.  How are you going to react?  You'll probably get a little miffed, but then brush it off pretty quickly.  Then when you get home, let's say you turn on the TV and see some famous people on various channels.  Are you going to look at them and say, "They're totally amazing.  I wish I could be like them!!!"??  Probably not, because you're already feeling great about yourself at the moment.

Conversely, let's say you just found out that you failed that important test.  When someone cuts you off on the road later, you may well blow up, calling the other driver a "total jerk and a loser," etc.  That would be negative projection.  And when you get home and turn on the TV, you're much more likely to idolize those famous people and say, "Wow, I wish I could be like them!!!!!"  Why?  Because right now you're feeling bad about yourself, and are projecting your own competent qualities onto them.  

In a nutshell, when you're feeling good about yourself, you're unlikely to project—either positively or negatively.  That means hero worship usually stems from a lack of healthy self-confidence.  And when you're feeling bad about yourself, projection (either positive or negative) becomes a way to cope.  It usually makes you feel better temporarily, but does nothing to resolve your underlying problems.  In other words, it's a lot like a "fix" or a drug.

What's the cure for hero worship then?  To develop your own sense of self-worth, and thus gain confidence in yourself.  That doesn't mean becoming a narcissist, of course, but rather acquiring a healthy self-respect and a vital awareness of your own abilities.  It seems that this is all closely related to the idea of self-acceptance. Thus, to whatever degree you haven't accepted yourself, you are most likely going to project parts of yourself onto others.

Incidentally, there's a related concept called transference, which involves transferring conflicts from one situation (usually from earlier in life) to another.

Here's a true story.  One woman, growing up, had a very bitter relationship with her mother—they just could never get along.  Later, when this woman became an adult, she had various bosses, all of whom were male.  And she got along with them OK.  Then eventually, she got her first female boss.  Guess what happened?  Even though this new boss was reasonable and nice, the woman could not get along with her at all!    Why not?  Because she transferred all the problems with her mother from her youth onto this new boss.  

Anyway, transference is very common.  Even though not everybody does this, it's something that happens a lot.  In fact, understanding transference can be the key to solving a lot of problems in relationships.  Many times when people can't get along, it has nothing to do with the present situation and everything to do with their baggage from the past.  That's probably one major reason so many people get divorced.  

This stuff is so intriguing.